The event:
This is a story told in e-mail messages to be filled in with additional information as we go along.
August 12, 2000
Don't get us wrong when we tell this story... up until now, we have LOVED our therapist. Maybe that is part of the problem. We trusted her and liked her because she is very young (25 or 26) and seems kind and loving. Once you like someone, it is hard to NOT trust them.
IF YOU ARE A THERAPIST, READ THIS CAREFULLY:
Do not build up trust with a person, and then trick them. Do not lie to your patients. We are not STUPID because we are multiple... actually, most multiples are very smart.
This is the exact e-mail that was sent from our house to a list we are on... please note that we do not normally use this kind of language...
Okay... I have thought, rehashed, fretted and STEWED about this ALL NIGHT!
Here is the deal:
Went to my therapist today for my Noon apt. Took my mom with me, as she is one of my major forms of support. Therapy starts out good... I (Rayne) disagreed with THERAPIST over something, made one of my normal remarks... laughing. She brings her pad of paper over to the couch and draws our dome on it. Ok, no big deal, thought se was going to go over the safety dome and how it affects us for mom. She says, to me, "this is your dome" I nod... Kelly switches over.. this is normal stuff.. we have gone over it a million times... "Okay, now, picture a 3-dimentional triangle in the dome." It piqued our interest..."what is this for?" "Just, TRUST me... Now, put a bubble inside of the triangle inside of the dome... can you see it?" at our nod, she says "This bubble is big enough for a human... put Rayne inside of it" WHAT THE FUCK?
As you can well imagine... this was NOT WELL RECIEVED!
"Okay, now, dump HOLY water indide the bubble" For those who DO NOT KNOW... 3 of the 18 we know about are PAGAN in the system... she has 3 NON pagans guarding the triangle.. Ok... so a bath in holy water... no big deal... right? SURE>>> "Now, add acid to the water in the bubble," and some other Sulfate, that is like acid... as soon as Kelly heard this it was NO WAY IN HELL! "It won't TOUCH HER, just fill the bubble" ??? HOW? Anyway.. ok... FINE... for 20 FUCKING minutes I am inside this bubble. "What can you see" "She is kicking and trying to get out" "Cover the bubble with a cloth so you can't see.." "How long does this go on?" "Til I say she can get out" WHAT? It started a rampage...
Kimmy, Vixxen and Daphne started bitching because there were no pagans on the triangle, but there was 10 year old GRACE on it... as a GUARD... against her MOM! NO! "You can't have pagans and non-pagans mix because their way of putting forth light and energy is different" WHAT? so, she asks who were the ones she was talking to about the pagan thing... "Put them in bubbles too" FUCK NO! that is what Kelly started saying. She was sobbing and crying and BEGGING for THERAPIST to tell her WHY! THERAPIST kept saying "Trust me!" NO, DAMMIT, you just locked Rayne away and when 3 others disagree you banish them to bubbles TOO! NO! Write it down in you frickin charts, KELLY WILL NOT DO SOMETHING THAT YOU ASK! For ONE TIME, I say NO! THEN, she starts this shit about "Do you WANT to heal" nooooooo... let me just be like THIS my whole fucking life... "THIS is your only option." We all disagreed WHOLEHEARTEDLY... at this point I had been in the FUCKING bubble for almost an hour, and it wasn't going to let up any time soon. Kelly kept refusing with tears running down her face, unable to say anything but how WRONG this was... so THERAPIST said, "LOOK IT UP... if you can find an alternative to this, write it up and we will talk about it" "If you are unhappy with something, write it out, we will talk about it!" Kelly told her, I JUST TOLD YOU, WHY SHOULD I WRITE IT DOWN? she just kept saying, "Write it down"
Sorry this is so long... I guess my real question is WHAT ALTERNATIVE IS THERE TO THE FUCKING BUBBLE? I have already let it be known that the next time I get put in that thing there will be hell to pay, and it will probably
be in THERAPIST'S feelings being hurt.
I assume that THERAPIST wants something to "cleanse" us. What else will do this without putting us in a LOCKED space and making us feel unsafe and angry?
Rayne
Vixxen
Kimmy
Daphne
Victims of Bad Therapy and The Bubble
House of RayneDrops
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and then, after a night or so of calming down, realizing some mistakes in the last e-mail, Kimmy sent this:
Hey guys.. Thanks for the input. I have had about 7 people now tell us to sue her... We don't want to do that, but we are (Next Friday) stopping sessions with her. We have decided. The mother is going with us so we don't get nervous and upset... She says she is proud of us for standing our ground against Angela-she didn't think it was right either, but she is of the age that you listened to what "Authority figures" said. We laughed and said "Not US!"
BTW, Rayne said that 3 of the 18 were pagan... she was upset and meant to say that only 3 of the 18 are NOT pagan.
As well, Angela kept telling everyone on the outside that "Just wait until Rayne gets out of the bubble and see how she feels" LOL... as if... anyway...
OH, and the mother said something interesting... "You really see these as PEOPLE... you felt, when you put Rayne in the bubble, that it was a PERSON you were putting in there..." I think she is finally getting it. :) We
have to keep telling her, "We are Kelly, but NOT Kelly... we all have very different lives and attitudes... We promise"... is it normal for the adjustment of a single-being to be SUCH a pain in the multiples butts? :)
Kimmy and Kelly
(BTW, I-Kim-am also STILL fuming about the bubble... GRRRRRRRRRRRR)
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Then, on the 14th, the kidz had their say:
we all was told to come on and tell how we feel bout what went on in our T's office.
We are talkin bout it cause we don't want it to happen to any of our freinds. Kelly is helping us write this so we don't make it to scary.
We went into our T's on thrsday and we was mad at her cause she forces us to come out wehn we don't wnat to. no fair. so the dults (mainly Momma Rayne) tol her about it and the mother was there and said it was like having the father hurt us again. the T got mad because "I am not hurting you" she said *b*sing <Rayne's Note: for those who do not know, *b*sing is abusing. The ***s are there to stop the word from becoming a trigger>... but we don't like that word at all.
Then she drew our safety dome on a peice of paper. We liked our dome. Then she drew a triangel. Kelly was out so she culd do it. Then there was a bubble inside the triangel. We like bubbles. She told Sam and Grace to guard it an said that the mother was the other guard. we wondered what for. she wouldn't tell us. Then she put momma rayne in the bubble... we was SO scared. These big dark things (Kelly calls them Angela's Thugs) came in and
pulled Momma away from us and put her in the bubble an started dumping stuf on her. it had acid in it. she was crying and kicking and screaming...
then the T made it imposible for us to hear momma rayne. the she asked what was hapening. Kelly said, "She is kicking and screaming" so we had to cover the bubble so we couldn't see. Then Kimmy, Vixx and Daphne were asking questions and stuff and they got put in bubbles too.
Kiera went into hiding. She says she won't come out for a while. Not til we have a new place made (no more dome) and the T is out of the pictre. She won't talk to the T at all anymore. Celeste cries more now, Lots of us cry now. the T said that the acid never touhed momma, but momma was showin us places she gott burned. her hans were burned and so were her arms. Kelly said that she stoppped the thugs from dumping all the acid in til just before she popped the bubbles. that is why it didn't make momma rayne go away.
See, the T keeps saying that she wants us to all work together, but we think she wants us to be one person. We don't wanna do that. none of us do. we like being us, not just Kelly.
don't let any T do this to you. She tricked kelly into putting in the triangel and the buble then throw momma rayne into it. Momma Rayne came out so mad she was gonna hurt the body but then she realized it wasn't Kelly's
fault, it was the T's.
We have all calmd down lots from thurday. Kelly wodn't let us post til we had. we was so scared. We slept with bears all round us last night.
Stormy with help from Daphne, Kelly and Kim
A lil of House of RayneDrops
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What happened the next Friday?
Well, it went better than expected. Suprisingly, she (therapist)was very polite about everything. We had a form to fill out about Social Security, and that took up the first 15 minutes. Again, the mother went with us for support. When the Social Security form was done, she said, "so, what do you need to talk about today?" At first I just looked at her like... DUH. Then I started in about last week and how it had really suprised and hurt us to know that she would trick us like that. Every time we would say something, she would counter it with some "explaination". In example: Kelly:"we didn't understand WHY you did it" Angela: "It was to see how much control Rayne has over the body and the other internal people." Kelly: "but you put 3 others in bubbles too" Angela: "I was seeing how much control Rayne has over the body"...
we looked at the mother who looked equally confused... ok...
then we said that several people (on this list as well as others) have told us to sue her. She laughed and said that they-the place she works-get that threat all the time, and if she were worried about it, she couldn't stand to work there... makes me wonder how many of these "idle threats" go through with it due to her attitude... I am still debating, even though I told her I wasn't going in that direction.
basically, it was the same old crap. "I am not abusing you" "IF you feel that I tricked you, I am sorry" I TOLD her that we felt she had tricked us into the bubble thing... "IF"??? WHAT?
anyway... it was nuts, but it is over. she is no longer my therapist, and I am looking online for a new therapist. :) Better days are coming soon.
Rayne (and a few interjections by Kelly)
Of course... it was much more involved than THIS... TRUST US! |
